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Summer Camp Rite of Passage

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We recently attended an Information Night for the summer camp that my boys have attended every July.  We have been to this event for nine consecutive years.  This year, as my oldest son stood at the front of the room and was introduced as a Junior Counsellor, I was thinking to myself, “Why didn’t he shave or at least tuck his shirt in?!”  And then one the camp directors smiled and added to his introduction, “I remember Connor when he first came to this event as a shy little 8-year old boy”.

Pass the tissues.

Suddenly the stubble and shirt tails were inconsequential as I teared and wistfully recalled that evening back in the spring of 2004.

summercampWe’d decided to grant our first-born the very significant rite of passage to sleepover camp.  The right camp having been chosen, we were planning to attend the camp information night they held in our town.  We waited with eager anticipation for that date that had been circled on our wall calendar for months.  The actual camp night was preceded by a home visit by the camp directors.  They come to meet first-time campers and their families one-on-one to make sure boys are emotionally ready for sleepover camp and deal with the barrage of questions inherent to first-time camper moms. I polished and vacuumed the rarely used living room and dining room as well as every other room on the first floor through which their home visit might take them. Suddenly, the male camp director husband was climbing the stairs with the boys as they dashed to show them their bunk bedded bedroom. “Where are you going?” I sputtered running ahead and gathering bits of dirty socks and sippy cups that may have been overlooked in my tidying frenzy, trying to divert his path.  “Best way to know a boy is to see what his room looks like!” he cheerily advised me, and off they went.

Oh crap.

As everyone, including my three-year old daughter, showed off their prized possessions and ultra messy rooms, the camp directors shared their camp stories and photo albums, adding to everyone’s excitement. We were all declared as “camp ready”.

Later that evening, the whole family piled into the car and headed to the church hall of Parkdale United Church in Ottawa and we listened attentively to all the wonderful camp activities our son would soon be enjoying out from under the watchful eyes of his parents.   Then, I dutifully checked off every item on the camp packing list and obediently adhered to the clothing and equipment requirements, making sure every single item, including each and every sock, was labeled. Little did I know then, that camp clothes gone missing are actually a blessing.

Summer camp packing listAs the first day of camp arrived, I was spared a mother’s heartache of waving good bye to a departing busload of young boys as that is a service provided only to the many boys departing for camp from Toronto.  I am remembering instead the trepidation on the long car ride to camp and suffering unto my son the great indignity of helping him unpack, make his camp bed, organize his camp clothes into an efficient, organized system that would naturally be abandoned the minute I drove away. The pulling over and shedding of tears would have to wait until my car was well out of sight of my son waving goodbye.

Except that he wasn’t waving goodbye. He’d quickly dashed off with his new camper friends and his camp counselor doing what boys do at boys’ sleepover camp.

Suddenly the church hall lights went on, the familiar slide show came to an end, and the bright lights shocked my senses bringing an abrupt end to my reminiscence. Next year will be his younger brother’s turn to stand up in from of this room full of young boys, in our tenth anniversary of camp information nights.

Better stock up on tissues.

Blogging makes a difference to me – The Three R’s of Blogging

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In honour of Mother’s Day, the online magazine www.BooksMakeADifference.com is featuring mom bloggers in its Turn the Page column. “Our magazine appears to a wide variety of book lovers – readers, creators, and book industry folks,” says senior writer Meagan Frank. “Moms have a big voice in today’s book conversation. Some bloggers are busy writing the stories of their families while others blog about why they choose and read the books they do.  This is our way of celebrating the difference moms are making.”  In the May issue of Books Make A Difference magazine, mom bloggers will have a thing or two to say about how blogs and books have made a difference in their lives.

The following is my post supporting mom bloggers…

~~~

Blogging makes a difference to me – The Three R’s of Blogging

On the downside, blogging has prevented me from having the relationship with Don Draper that I believe the Universe intended for me. The upshot, however, is that blogging has also saved me from wasted nights with Toddlers in Tiaras. In other words, blogging keeps me from watching too much TV, and so anchors me to the important Three R’s of blogging: Reading, Riting and Remembering (maybe not the editing so much).

I discovered the blogosphere in 2009; a full 10 years after weblogs were first launched on the internet. It’s hard to believe that blogs and blogging have only been around for 14 years, considering their widespread appeal and popularity today. I became quickly addicted to my first “R”, Reading, and was absorbing more news, recipes, music, book recommendations, fashion sense, fitness tips, sports, you name it, via blogs rather than magazines or newspapers. More than anything, though, I read blogs about parenting.  The brutal honesty with which some mothers wrote about motherhood made me feel less isolated and more – well – normal about the ups and downs of parenting.  I was still, however, a mere lurker on the blogosphere.

Soon thereafter, I reconnected with a first cousin who, while exactly my age, had taken a different path high school.  Following a series of tragedies that befell her family, our paths converged again. Her daughter and my daughter also connected for the first time, and being both the same age and both hockey players, a new sisterhood was forged. My lurking evolved into contributing, as my cousin and I co-authored our first blog that was reminiscent of our old pen pal exchange of the ’70′s and 80′s. We blogged about the wins and woes of our hockey momhoods as a way to stay connected. Then friends and family became our part of readership. As the hockey lives of our youngsters took over, sadly our postings languished, but not our rekindled sisterhoods.

I was now hooked on blogging, leading to the second “R”, Riting. I created my own blog to chronicle a 40 day long project to which I was subjecting my family during Lent. This series of posts lead to my first published work and gave rise to a new love of the written word.  I may have struggled a little to find my writing voice but seem to have settled into self-deprecating humour style of writing, with the late but ever-inspiring Erma Bombeck as my muse. That’s the wonderful thing about blogging – you can experiment with your craft, your style and your genre. My family should be grateful I haven’t changed my hair colour as often as I’ve changed the focus of my writing! My blog continues to be a narrative of my journey through motherhood, books, and of course, my favourite spectator sport – minor hockey (aka, my life with stinky laundry).

Finally, blogging has made a difference to me in the final “R”, Remembering. I started using my blog a platform by which to desperately capture and preserve memories of motherhood, as those fleeting everyday moments otherwise seem to be dissolving.  Blogging has been a far better medium for me than a diary or journal which I tend to neglect and dust off only every few weeks or months. Having had three children in 4 years, the early years had sadly become but a blur. Had I caught on to blogging earlier perhaps I could now recall and retain more of those exciting and often exasperating moments of their growing up. Something that blogging has since allowed me to do.

Certainly books have made a difference in my life for their ever-presence has ensured that I maintain a relationship with the outside world, or different worlds.  Blogging on the other hand, will ensure a lasting relationship with myself, and my inner world.

Yes, blogging has made a difference to me!

Closure

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I love this time of the year.  Not just because Spring has finally arrived but because our hockey year has ended for another season.  Enjoy this repost from this most wonderful time of the year last year.
hockey mom ecard

The minor hockey season is over!  Now that my daughter’s hockey season is over, I can briefly back off firing on all cylinders.

Do you know how I know that the minor hockey season is over?  I know because in this week alone -

  • I did not have to navigate hockey bags and water bottles to put my groceries in the car.
  • I ate dinner … sitting down.
  • I cooked dinner, not Mr. Mozzarella.
  • I made a dinner reservation for 2 people, instead of 40 people.
  • I took my bottle of wine out of the refrigerator, instead of a cooler.
  • I did not launder a single piece of UnderArmor.
  • Not once did I make a pit-stop to the skate sharpening shop.
  • I shaved my legs.

Yep, no doubt about it.  All these activities point to a sure sign that the minor hockey season is over.

Until this past 2012-2013 season, I had three kids in hockey, so August to April has always been a gong-show. If you add to that, the occasional stint in spring hockey and 4-on-4 hockey, then the season is extended through the end of June.

My non-hockey friends have all but left me for dead and the truth is, I’ve had to check my own pulse once in a while just to be sure.  Some days both the car and I were on autopilot.

During the hockey season, our attendance at family gatherings is prioritized according to a very misinterpreted scale of diminishing inheritance.  Friends’ dinner party invitations are almost always declined unless I am confident the hostess won’t blow a fuse if either my husband or I show up just as the food is being cleared from the table.

Spring sports haven’t quite geared up which means I an enjoying a brief respite (those few days between hockey and baseball ). I feel like I’ve surfaced for air and am actually accomplishing more than just treading water.  I feel n.o.r.m.a.l.

I know “normal” is short-lived, however.  I know this armistice is really just a tenuous treaty between me and my iCal, who swings from ally to enemy on an almost daily basis.  Soon Spring will hit the fan and I’ll be chasing down stray pieces of soccer and baseball equipment and back to logging on the miles driving to various clubs and lessons.

Not like we do between August and April, though.  No.  Hockey season is a formidable beast… and this beast is now in hibernation.

hockey mom1

The finish line …

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old running shoes

That’s not what the finish line was supposed to look like.

That’s not what the finish line was supposed to feel like.

Nothing compares to that feeling of crossing a finish line in a road race. Passing between two chains of cheering spectators, almost all of them strangers to you and each other, you are urged on to that carpeted, beeping finish line. Immediately, you experience a disoriented state of euphoric pride and pain that lingers for the rest of the day – several days if you’re really lucky. The race is done.  Then the pain subsides and the pride hangs around.  You’re intoxicated by the pride long enough for you to forget what the pain was all about and do it again. Crazy runners.

Every one of those runners at today’s Boston Marathon knows the satisfaction in crossing that finish line.  They all had to qualify for their participation in this event.  They all had worked so long and so hard to experience the agony and excitement in crossing this auspicious finish line – this holy grail of running events.

This time there would be no satisfaction in crossing the finish line. For everyone involved in today’s Boston Marathon, there will only be prolonged shock, sadness and grief.  This time the pain may not subside.

My heart and prayers go out to all those affected by this tragedy, as a runner, as a human being.

Dictum for Dummies …

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On my agenda this week are parent-teacher interviews with those who teach my two high school-aged kids.

Send wine.

A plus logoIn the early years, I would look forward to these joyous occasions as they reinforced my confidence in parenting. That was back when comments like “he always demonstrates consideration for his peers by helping during work, play and clean-up time” or “correctly recognizes most of the letters of the alphabet at random” were noteworthy accomplishments. I really pine for the days when U meant Usually. Nevertheless, the importance of communication between parents and teachers should not be underestimated.

I’ve had school-age kids now for approximately 14 years now (if you include pre-school) (please do) so I’ve endured enjoyed my share of parent-teacher interviews with the educators of my three kids’. The typical interview (which is a funny term, really; I come away feeling less like I got a job and more like I got served) is only 15 or so minutes, but I find teachers are not always so quick to cut to the chase about my kids’ strengths and weaknesses and tend to approach the truth from all angles. I usually look at Life, and my kids in particular, through rose-coloured glasses so it took me a few years to realize that “boisterous” was not a critical learning proficiency and “distracting” was not a compliment on their appearance. There are subliminal messages buried in those comments when read backwards. I’m just kidding about that – my kids have never been taught by Satan. Well, not since  that brief but disastrous homeschooling experiment anyway.  I am now doublespeak-literate and consider myself to be edu-lingual. I can now set aside the Dictum for Dummies book for I am now well aware that when a teacher informs me,

“He has such an extensive vocabulary” it really means he needs to stop swearing within earshot of the teacher.

“He has a strong future in medicine!” it probably means his penmanship sucks or his body is about to be donated to science (dead or alive).

“She is a gifted and prolific debater” means she needs to shut up once in a while.

“Attention to appearance and personal hygiene is of vital importance” means he should to take a shower after PhysEd … or  … hall passes are reserved for emergencies of which hair-brushing is not considered to be one.

“He is exceptionally creative!” means he came up with yet another stunning excuse as to why his homework wasn’t done.

As you can see, I’ve gleaned quite a bit from the report cards I’ve read and interviews I’ve attended.  Considering I have about 110 report cards and some 38 interviews or so on which to reflect upon, perhaps there is a market for certified comment decipherers.

Another interesting report card observation:  did you ever notice that the space on report cards for parent/guardian commends on student achievements, goals, and home support shrinks from a full page in grade school to about an eighth of a page in high school? Does this have anything to do with the fact that a smiley face emoticon takes up much less space than a diatribe? Or that a big thumb’s up at the conclusion of a parent-teacher interview really just about says it all? Always keeping us on our toes, those teachers :) !!

Dare to share?  What’s the best teacher comment your child received?

report card

 

Mascot Confidential

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According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC), the most dangerous jobs in Canada are in the construction, manufacturing and transportation sectors.  Surprisingly, no mention of mascots.

toufou1I was shocked when I discovered recently that Toufou, the beloved moose mascot of Tremblant Ski Resort in the beautiful Laurentians north of Montreal, now has security detail assigned to him. Evidently being a mascot is more of a high-risk occupation than I thought. Zut alors!

Everyone makes fun of mascots; it’s not just me, right? They’re obnoxious and kind of freaky but I don’t want to see them hurt. Except the one who knock over my beverage … him I want to hurt.

My daughter was a TouFou-stalker, but a I’m-a-cute-three-year-old kind of stalker. The minute we’d arrive at Tremblant, she’d look for that crazy moose everywhere and if she caught sight of him, she’d knock over everything in her path to get to him (including my beverage).  As a 12-year old, she now understands fully that TouFou is not a real moose, but it is still an annual tradition for her to have her picture taken with him.

So upon arrival to Tremblant over March Break, we strolled about the pedestrian village and it did not take too long for our first TouFou sighting. As my daughter posed for her annual photo with Moosey (as she still affectionately refers

IMG_1517

to her childhood friend), I joked with his security guard: “Mais voyons donc! TouFou’s making the big time now, eh? Needs security?” The security guard nodded but was not offering up any details about would not offer up any information as to his raison d’être.

As March Break lore goes, TouFou once got a little too personal with a few ladies who were dancing to the music in Place St. Bernard square. Seems the boyfriend of one of those ladies (probably after too many trips to the dépanneur) did not appreciate TouFou’s mingling with his lady and decided to teach that maudit TouFou a lesson toute de suite. Even worse, instead of telling simply telling their friend to manger de la marde, a whole group of his buddies joined in in giving TouFou an old-fashionable mascot thrashing.

I sure hope TouFou wasn’t seriously hurt but it certainly explains why he is now accompanied everywhere by someone whose vision is not impaired by a 2-foot wide head. But I also couldn’t help laughing at the stupidity of this obviously drunker-than-a skunk (or moose) reveller.

Just imagine the conversation with his girlfriend:

GF: “Seriously? C’est quoi ton problème?”

BF: “Well, he was – like – trying to grab your butt!”

GF: “Grab my butt. Really. With his paw. Uh-huh.”

BF: “I don’t like you dancing with other guys.”

GF: “Other guys? or just 7-foot tall biped moose?”

And what would a father say to his son after such a brawl?

Father: “Nice shiner, Son! What did the other guy look like?”

Son: “Uh, well gee Dad, I honestly didn’t get a good look at him”, which is probably safer than “he wasn’t wearing any pants but I’m pretty sure he had antlers”.

Franchement! But honestly don’t feel too bad for poor TouFou, he still gets all the girls!

As for the stupid idiot that prompted Tremblant to assign security to TouFou? Well, thanks to his girlfriend and father, he’ll be in therapy for years … once he’s out of juvie, that is.

tremblant

Outside my comfort zone…

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Not long ago, my daughter persuaded me to try surfing. I don’t mean internet surfing (on that I am a pro thanks to my highly evolved procrastination skills), I mean the real shaka bra water sport surfing (on which I am most definitely not a pro).  Not that it mattered to my daughter, but Mai Tai and I were perfectly happy enjoying my first visit to the Hawaiian Islands without this sharp turn outside my comfort wake.  Nevertheless she begged for an exciting and inimitable mother-daughter day – and 12 year olds are good beggars (until they turn 16 and can then drive themselves). “What the heck?”I thought, “When in Hawaii …” Well, I can now tell you the correct answer here is, ‘drink a Mai Tai’.

Despite a profound lack of experience and misguided sense of athleticism, I relented.  I was counting on my strong Canadian running legs to carry me over these waves, forgetting that my strong Canadian running legs were old and not at all that strong. I then carefully chose a surfing company that specialized in Beginners and Cowards because I am both (I kid you not; it’s right there on their website), and guaranteed their students to be surfing by the end of the lesson (though no reference was made to exactly how and the word ‘gracefully’ was omitted from their pledge). I was relieved to be paired with a father-son duo who, like me, had no previous surfing experience.

First wave.  Paddle. Kneel. Stand. Surf. After this unsuccessful first attempt at shredding the nar the other youngster in our grouping asked me excitedly, “Hey Lady, was that you who did that amazing face plant out there?”  Three words I do not ever wish to see, hear or experience together again: amazing and face and plant.  After making sure my bathing suit still covered the significant – I mean appropriate – parts of my body, I quickly wiped the salt water out of my eyes (sea water not tears, thank you) and made my way back to the waves’ breaking point for round two.

Next wave, please. “You’re lovin’ it, right Mama?” Our native Hawaiian instructor, Kihe, had taken to calling me Mama during our land lesson and I carried this nickname into the water.  “Oooooohhh Mama,” he continued, “Here comes a 40-footer!” I don’t think Kihe was aware that I firmly believe that ‘here comes a 40-footer’ is only good news when referring to yachts, not waves.  Noting the panic in my eye, he assured me with a twinkle in his, that he meant the next wave was 40 feet wide not 40 feet high. Funny guy. I smiled nervously and paddled furiously as Kihe instructed me to do.

Paddle. Kneel. Stand. Surf. “Get out of my way!” shouted another novice surfer who erroneously assumed I actually knew how to get out of his way. “Addictive my eye” I muttered to myself, as we collided.  “Deadly is more like it.” There was water in parts of my body where water should not be. My instructor, Kihe, reminded me at my next turn that I need to keep my eye on where I want to go.  “If you look at other people, you’re bound to hit them.  It’s the same in skiing right Mama?  You look at a tree; you’re going to hit the tree!”  Oh my God, how did he know about me and the tree?

Paddle. Kneel. Stand. Surf. Contrary to my wildest dreams but true to the surfing company’s guarantee, I managed to catch a ride on the next wave. There is no doubt in my mind that those 60 seconds of adrenaline were definitely worth the ensuing two hours of work trying to recreate that experience.  For the love of Job, surfers are the most patient people on the planet. And strong.  In case you’re ever wondering why there are so few printed manuals on surfing out there it’s because video would make the following instructions come to life much more effortlessly:  Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, kneel, stand, surf, kneel, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle,.  Repeat. So where was the part where you just lay down on your surf board and just … well … lay there? That would be a good part; definitely part of my comfort zone.

My daughter stayed behind for a few more rides as I let my surf board and the tide carry me to shore. So endeth the surfing lesson and my retreat to my comfort zone.

Soon thereafter, my son suggested we visit Black Rock for some ‘totally sick cliff jumping’.

‘Yeah.’ I thought, as I mixed another Mai Tai. ‘Send me a post card.’

 

Maui Wave Riders

Author’s note:  to the professional photographer capturing all these wonderful memories on film, I respectfully request to destroy all evidence.  Thank you.  The entire world thanks you.

Have you ventured outside your comfort zone lately?

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