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Texting the “Boys” Weekend

I don’t mind when my husband goes away on a boys’ weekend – really – I don’t. I have noticed, however, some fairly significant differences between a boys’ weekend and a girls’ weekend.

golf

For starters, men don’t know how to count.  A boys’ weekend is never forty-eight hours – it’s more like ninety-six hours.  Women have a different word for that – it’s a freakin’ vacation, is what that is. A girls’ weekend on the other hand, starts on Friday and ends on Sunday. It’s. A. Weekend. We’re gone for maybe forty-eight hours, but usually more like thirty-six hours.  That’s ok though, because by my counting, I can plan two girls’ weekends for every one boys’ weekend.

Planning a boys’ weekend is pretty easy too:  pick a date, pack your golf bags and head out the door.  Planning a girls’ weekend involves, um, more.

I’ve noticed most moms, myself included, are exhausted just getting out the door for a girls’ weekend given the Herculean effort involved in organizing a weekend away.  Yet, despite the effortlessness that seems to accompany planning a boys’ weekend, I have noticed that they don’t seem to come home very well rested at all.

During a girls’ weekend, I may text my husband that I arrived safely, ask if he found the casserole in the freezer, and remind him about our son’s baseball game. I would never text my husband asking him, “Can you check on our line of credit?” or better yet, “I talked to the police officer and it’s cool”. There’s not much to text from a girls weekend.  “I ate and I slept” isn’t all that exciting. I could ratchet it up a bit and say, “I laughed so hard that wine came out my nose” but am not sure if anyone at home would be interested in that one either. Or better yet, “spent four hours at the spaspa today – better than sex.” Yeah, I pressed cancel on that one too.

Returning from a boys’ weekend and walking into the house involves the onerous task of dumping the dirty laundry into the hamper and storing the golf clubs in the basement.  Returning from a girls’ weekend and walking into the house, well, it just brings tears to my eyes.

So despite their differences, what happens at a girls’ weekend, stays at a girls’ weekend and for sure, what happens at a boys’ weekend, stays at a boys’ weekend.  Maybe the texts should too.

Soul Sisters Weekend 2014 seems just a little too long away…

About Astra Groskaufmanis

I am a zamboni fumes-inhaling hockey mom of three. I poke fun at myself, motherhood and my support group, Sarcasm and Chardonnay while writing my tell-all hockey mom-oir. Read more at www.thedustbunnychronicles.com, follow me on Twitter @mydustbunnies and join my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheDustbunnyChronicles.

12 responses

  1. Whether or not you sent any of those texts, I’ll just assume you did. They’re just too funny to waste! Enjoy your next girls’ weekend. Hopefully, it’ll be here before you know it!

  2. The important thing is to make sure you get that girls’ weekend, Astra – the more weekends the merrier!

  3. Sounds like a dream getaway to me! Where do I sign up?

  4. A great getaway plan. Love the texts…and the un-texts.

  5. I think you nailed, Astra! …and reminded me that I’m in desperate need of a holiday.

  6. “I talked to the police officer and it’s cool.” made me laugh out loud! love it! Do month-long girl-birthdays even out the playing field? nah.

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